Husband And Wife Surgeons

The Abdullahs plan to stay in Fargo. They feel the city is family oriented and a good place to raise kids.
- by Roxana Saberi

YOU should never judge a house from its exterior. I discovered this as I opened the door to a house that appeared grand and structured-looking from the outside. I was surprised to be greeted by a room full of toys - littie trucks. playhouses, soccer balls - all a child could ask for.

I was at the home of Kay and Ahmed Abdullah - two parents dedicated to their careers yet devoted to their children. "We used to have just one playroom,” Kay told me, "but the toys kept on spreading to other rooms.” It was indeed a paradise for children.

Two twin boys, Ali and Alex, were excited to show me that their toy trucks had stars on the wheels. I wondered how parents could keep track of such energetic kids while managing successful careers.

I soon found out that they do it because they are a husband-wife team.

Kay and Ahmed met in Texas while doing their residencies to become surgeons. They got married in 1990, completed their residencies, and then moved to Fargo three and a-half years ago.

Kay is a general surgeon at the Veterans Administration in Fargo. In fact, she is the only female general surgeon in Fargo. However, she doesn't feel that being a woman in her field has been a problem for her. "Sometimes the patients tease me and say, 'When is the doctor coming?' But they know that I know they're joking," she said with a smile.

On the other hand, Kay realizes that being a woman in her field has not been easy. "But it's not only for medicine." she explained. "Women that do things typically in a man's field may have a tougher time, but if they love their job and do it well, they can do it."

Ahmed, Kay's teammate, seems to admire Kay. "It 's a hard road to get to be a woman surgeon. Women surgeons deserve respect," he said.

Ahmed also works as a surgeon in Fargo. He opened a business, The Plastic Surgery Institute, in January. He conducts breast and cosmetic surgery, and he has also introduced his own skin care products. Having achieved success with the products locally, Ahmed is now thinking about marketing them at a national level.

The physicians find it helpful to have the same interests. Kay is currently working on some research that Ahmed studied during his residency. Similarly, Kay sometimes operates with Ahmed. They feel it's good for the patients to have the husband-wife team working together. "It's kind of like a family," Ahmed joked.

So they have a family at work and a family at home. However, the Abdullahs realize that it's difficult to find enough time for everything in their schedules. They work full time during the week and are occasionally on-call on weekends. "Sometimes we feel we have enough time with our kids, sometimes we don't” Kay said. She and her husband are grateful for their baby-sitter who takes care of the kids during the week.

"You just have to make of it what you can," Ahmed said. "We try to get our work done and then get home to be with our kids."

The parents hope their past experiences will benefit their children. Ahmed was born and raised in Pakistan. Since coming to the United States in 1977, his culture has remained important to him. Although he and his wife speak English at home, Ahmed hopes to leach their children his native language, Urdu.

"Sometimes it's tough because our different cultures make communication tough," Ahmed said, "but it comes down to individuals because Kay and I click nicely. We can pass our cultural backgrounds down to our kids."

Kay, who was born in North Dakota and has lived in various states, feels their different backgrounds will allow them to give something extra to the boys. She and Ahmed want to educate the boys about their faith. They agree that their kid should learn about both background and then decide what they want to believe when they are older.

As for the future, the parents plan to stay in Fargo for a while. They feel the city is family oriented and a good place to raise kids.

I smiled at the children who were happily playing with their toys. I would have never known from the outside of the house that inside lived a husband-wife team – a team that clicked both at work and at home.